A life without direction

So it's 2, almost 3 in the morning... and I just got done watching more than Half of the first season of Naruto.... I watched 20 eps in a row ^_^, woo for nerdom!

Besides the little anime orgasim i'm going through, I don't know how to feel. I feel distant from everyone, i'm not sure if they are being distant from me or if i'm being distant from them. My friend Kayla doesn't return my calls anymore... which isn't much of a development but she at least used to call and say some excuse... now I don't even get that. Brian seems interested in spending time, but he often just uses my computer for something or another. Other than that I don't have any close friends.... There was Jamie but that's not anything I miss in particular. What I do miss... is Julianne.

I've been feeling sick for the last few days now, feeling like i'm going to vomit, pit feeling... stuff like that. There are some more things going on, but I don't want to go into detail about such aspects as thoughs. I'm not angry... just depressed... sadden when my mind wanders or focuses on things that I should worry about. I have no control, no reason to have control... I am just here, every day, no change in that aspect.

No real reason for this update, figured i'd at least update every so often that didn't involve me freaking out. Well i'm off for bed, no one is going to call and no one to talk to online. Hopefully things change... i'm tired of my life as it is.